I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Can I color on your dick again?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
