i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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