He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
