His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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