Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
