Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
