i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
should my penis look like a turkey
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
