If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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