Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
