I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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