Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I believe in your delicious
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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