OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Randomize
