Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
