Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
