i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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