dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
