Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
