are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
it glows. i had to have it.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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