Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
