I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
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