Christians are straight up FREAKS
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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