Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
