i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
