Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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