Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
