I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
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