If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
