just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
You should frame my arrest warrant.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
