what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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