apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
