she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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