i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
