i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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