some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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