you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
