Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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