I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
