sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
What a fucking waste of an outfit
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize
