Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
