Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
