come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
