okay pat passed out under dana's car
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
