he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
