you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Randomize
