it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I didn't shave. On purpose
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
