I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
