I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
