Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
