We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
