I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
